Thursday 17 May 2012

Day 20- Navigating through Life

17th of May 1+7=8 again. Spiritually, 8 is the goal of the initiate, after going through 7 stages. I have my second to last exam tomorrow, so it's not graduation time yet, but in other senses, today was a day of goals.
8 is the symbol of infinity, only standing up. A man in a shop asked me where I was from. I told him and asked him where he though I was from, he said 'anywhere, everywhere'; he sounded slightly disappointed that I wasn't Chinese. I like to have an infinite possibility of places to belong to, in my face.
Today has felt like my heart is sitting on the edge of a razor blade, unsafe, sharp, but somehow not as dangerous as it sounds, although it could be. I've navigated through life with a fraction of a second timing and a nervous heart, still, everything keeps working out perfectly, in the end.
I almost got ran over by a car, it missed me by a millimeter, I bought a coffee and had the exact money. Really small yet interesting things. Like a security guard that didn't let me enter a building, I had to get a card of some sort, got the card, turns out I needed the card for some other things and would not have gotten it otherwise. The man in the counter looked hypnotized, he even forgot to charge me. People can act so strange.
The only reason why we can't see order is because we don't understand order, I believe.
An incredibly beautiful woman was standing outside the station holding a McDonalds sign. I looked at her and she sensed the disbelief in my eyes, she laughed, I laughed, this is how my disillusionment in the world gets refreshed and then broken down, everyday. So ridiculous. She shouldn't have been there, but maybe she did. Some times all I can say is 'what do I know?'To then find perfection in the development of life. If we could only see the bigger circle outside the small circle of our mundane problems... if we could read the clues of the universe, interpret the symbols and talk with infinity, if only. Still, today I navigated through life with considerable grace, wrote a poem and even if my heart felt as unstable as ever, at least, at the very least, it always feels something, something intense. Oh and for tomorrow, wish me luck.
Some Concentric Circles that compose our world.

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