This planet is a huge school.

I haven't been too active in my writing this past co
uple of months... mainly because I've been deciding what to do with my life. I still haven't decided but I am opening doors for myself, and that is something.
 I haven't been wasting though, and that is why I got inspired to write this post...
If there is one thing I am convinced of, is that this planet is a school. I'm so certain of it because learning is the prime activity of our lives/brains. Consciously or unconsciously. What do we get when we don't achieve what we wanted to achieve in something? "At least you learnt something". This is  not just an attempt at sympathy; this is also the main motor of our lives. I don't just mean academic minds and lives, but everyone's lives. Whether we are conscious of it or not, we are learning ALL the time. We are learning how systems work, how stuff works, how other people work, how our emotions work, we are learning words, we are learning lessons, we are learning skills. We make it a priority to send our children to education and in a weird weird we praise and value formal education (I say weird way because we let our students be completely overridden by crippling debt).
So I decided to take the matter to my own hands and educate myself, teach myself, everything I want to know.
I've always been quite independent with what I read. I've read books all my life, I choose them but I also consult others, I look on the internet or I ask friends that I respect what they are reading or read books they recommend. I'm the friend that reads that book you lend her. But also, I have two passions that at the moment, I can't properly afford to fund.
This are music and art. Its pretty general I know, but I've tried to bring them closer to my world by actually making music and making art, but also by listening to music and seeing art (which is everywhere!).
There is a third thing I decided to learn, and that is Russian, my father's language (well, technically he is Belorussian but Russian is also spoken there and there are more resources for learning it).
So, today as I write this post, I want to tell you that although I'm not AMAZING at any of these things yet, it IS possible to teach yourself, and it is easier than other activities, because the things you learn are the things you love and therefore, they feed you (internally).
I have painted for a couple of years, but I knew nothing about the technical aspects of drawing and etc so I got a book on it. All I do is set myself a little time and work through a couple of pages everyday day. Not too many, sometimes just one, and I do have days off. But I can tell you now that I can draw a pretty realistic bear!
For music, I feel that singing is the most natural thing and in my case, the most yearned thing. So I started to learn how to sing and play the guitar (I started pretty informally a couple of years ago) but now I got myself a book and started to read music. I also only do like one page a day or so...
Finally, I got a children's book on 'My first 100 Russian words' I stared by reading it casually, until my brain got used to it and I started studying it.
These days, I am happy to tell you that I just finished the first guitar book (pretty thin, simple and basic... but gives you a great sense of achievement). And two days ago I finished the Russian book.
I'm ready for the next stage and I'm also better at organising my time, as I really want to learn these things.
I know it isn't that easy. I know you have jobs to go to and I don't at the moment, but I will start working soon. But the point is not that. The point is not take on a lot of activities and work really hard... The point is that if you want to learn something, anything, you can teach yourself. There will be resources, for beginners, for advanced, for intermediate.. etc... and if you give yourself even twenty minutes a day, it really makes a difference, and if you do it every day, it really a difference fast.
You don't just have to go and learn what the world throws at your face and tells you its useful, no, you can choose what you want to know and be and be your own teacher, after all, that voice inside our heads is like a constant teacher too.
I'm happy I made a choice to learn. I'm proving myself that there are motivations apart from money (stronger than money) to do things.
This planet is a school, use it.

Back in Time...

So, this post is about where I am at the moment and why. Where? I am in Quito, Ecuador. This is the land that raised me, up till I turned 17 and moved to London, because of circumstances, not choice. I am back after living in England for 6 years and a half or so, if you want to know how old I am, just do the math. Why am I here? That is the hardest question. I think it was time to get back, it was time to face the life I left and the person I´ve become too.

Being back in Quito is so surreal, specially since they are such different worlds, Quito and London. Industrialised vs. developing world. Empire and colony, hot and cold, island and mountain, known and proud vs hidden and modest... I find contrasts between the two in almost every aspect! But the biggest I´ve found is the contrast between old and new. England is the old world and Ecuador and Latin America are the new world. Yet for me, Quito is the old life and London the new life. Yet here I want to make a small comment, globalisation, for better or worse (definitely for worse) has made the two places, Europe and Latin America, look strangely similar, specially in things like shops and fashion, but this is only a superficial similarity. The psyche of the people in the two places is different, especially the old people. Young people, because of the internet I believe, think quite similar in both places and seem to be interested in similar issues.

I actually always had two cultures in me, my mum being Ecuadorian and my dad being Belorussian (its very random, I know), but my father´s influence has only ever been genetic in me, I know nothing about his culture, and Ecuador is where I grew up. So Ecuador is by all means, my land.

When I left, I felt like a plant that was taken from one soil, planted in a completely different soil, made to grow and now, I´m back in the old soil... and all before I even ripe and give fruits! Sometimes this saddens me. I feel, like I´m 6 years late to the party. To everything. Everyone is bigger, they´ve graduated, some even had kids, and some of their kids are big... I missed out on everything. Supposedly the love stays and I´ve witnessed with my own eyes how the essence doesn´t change, but trust me, there is a special connection and beauty that happens when you spend real time with people, when you see them grow. Moving countries stops you from doing that, and although everything is new and fresh and exciting, it´ll never have the warmth of that familiar, of home, of the known. In a way, I understand gypsies, and I have had the privilege to explore the human mind in two languages and to really meet people, not just live of stereotypes.

Yes, I do think I am lucky enough to have experienced many cultures, two cultures to a big extent and now I feel like I see, I see far and wide but sometimes, flying away, my heart gets caught in the wind. Life is constantly changing. In England I had the opportunity to completely reinvent myself. I studied, worked, made my own enterprise... I didn´t have to hold on to the old hang ups of my childhood and school life of here in South America. I was able to change my views, my aesthetics, my life choices, my view of people. I grew to love people because of who they are much more than before, when my infantile mind was focused on strange concepts of popularity. This sounds like a fun adventure, but it was actually the hardest things I´ve ever had to do. We are unaware of how much our identity is based on the culture we belong to, conscious or unconsciously, yet we only really see it and get to question WHO we are, when we are taken away from the comfort of belonging to a land, to a people.

In a way, this is the best experience I´ve ever had. Seeing the country and the friends I grew up with after 6 years. It feels as if I just stepped into a time machine and now we´re all big, in the future or present. Here I am, in the time of the reckoner. Full of choices and life, right in the land that made me, and with the choice of returning to the land that freed me.