Tuesday 22 February 2011

Queens in the making



Isolation. Because the world around you does nothing but confuse you. You forgot what your own voice sounds like. You talk in movie quotes, slogans, old quotes, new quotes, streaming slang, anything.. but your thoughts. My thoughts, you think, and that makes you want to shut down. Hybernate. Plainly hide. Spend some much needed time, an eternity perhaps, with yourself. But that turns into a trap, if you immerse yourself too much into your self. So much that both the words you say and the words you hear in reply have the same tone, the same music, and come from the same mouth. You stop recognizing the world outside, the solid things that you fought for, desired, craved or feared...
Then you stop recognizing your own body. Your own hands look foreign... Your thoughts drift so, so far away.
I got out and paid a high price for a decent conversation. I gave up my kingdom. I let my bubble kingdom burst. That apple of knowledge looked so tasty. I thought I could do better if I knew better.
But what for do we need know more words to articulate the same feeling of being lost, loneliness, human-ness. Isolation threatens to be the only exit again. Run.
I remained a queen in the making, blow me another bubble. Waiting to conquer the inventions and questions of ancient minds. Craving the ideas built on ideas of ideas of ideas of bodies that don't even recognise themselves.
Needless words... I pursue your crown and not the crown of gold.
Daydream into a higher dream, day dream into can, want, wish.
I now pride myself in not trying normality, in not being grounded, in being alone and almost permanently misunderstood. Shine with your alien halo. Beautiful. I walk not knowing where I go. Walk.
That's when you let yourself know that you have a chase, to the kingdom of truth.
There are no castles, let alone buildings. Only uncertainty and an empty field, as vast as imagination can push it. Infinite. Filled up with nothing but potentiality, what will be? Let anything be. Possibilities fill your mind like water water the watery plant, a stream of possibilitites. That mind cant recognize its own hands, its own body, its own instrument of existence.
I wanted to tell you how I feel, but my mouth needs no human ears... it needs a heavenly microphone to shout out till my voice is gone and there's is nothing but silence, silence is the only answer now.
She will be queen, he will be king and then they will vanish and disappear, and progress will be a good name to tag the legacy of confusion they left us.

Wednesday 2 February 2011

Give it a go today

you say its hard to get up from bed,
it seems that once you get used to something,
its time to change...
you drag yourself around, like a bag full of pains,
you don't want to look up, in case it rains...
you wrap yourself in layers of all kinds of stuff,
thicker and thicker each time,
not just in case of the cold
but you run from the touch of love.
you frown so much,
your forehead looks like a tree bark,
you are afraid of fires when you see sparks...
you do the same thing, again and again
and postpone your dreams, put them up in shelves
you walk around feeling small, tiny like an elf
I tell you, I ask you
give it a go today
don't drag your feet, run instead
stop looking for the sky on the floor, lift your head
don't frown any more, flirt and smile
sit on a sledge and let life slide.
to be numb is not better than to feel pain,
to be numb is to waste a heart, a life, time and a brain...
go out get messy, get some stains
dont stay in that bubble of cyclic thoughts
im here today, give it a go
you can go back to bed tomorrow if you didnt like the taste,
but please i beg you, dont turn your life into a waste.