the Very first time.

For when i started typing this very first post today, I had a completely different topic on mind. It was compromise. I shall later on write about it, because in this precise moment I'm being overwhelmed by it. But no, I came face to face with an empty page and a chance to write a first post. Yet this is not my first post, I had a blog before and I lost it. It is now a floating hologram of my past self, with no one to read it or to care... this makes me wonder...

Are first times, truly first? We are told so many times, but its so difficult to understand, that we are all made of the same materials and atoms that had existed since some thousand of million of years ago in this very same planet we are currently living in. for instance, the water we drink from our Evian bottle (to give it a name) was once in a raoring river running through the centre of Japan. We were dust and dust we will be, I dont want to get biblical, I'm not religious at all, I just believe that we're all made of the very same thing.

So, this is not the first time that I write a post, but lest get more practical, how about the first time i had a cup of coffee? I can recall my aunt serving it in my ladybug mug and me enjoying it although I was just 6 or 7. But I had thought of that moment before, I already knew its flavour, I knew its colour, temperature, smell, aroma... Is then, the very first time we live things, when we first abstractly experience them in our minds?

I think therefore I am. Descartes said that once, meaning that we can only be sure of our existence because we think and doubt our existences... maybe too philosophical for what I really wanted to talk about. My first kiss. Im not sure of when or how it happened, does it need a dose of love to be a real fist kiss, was is when I had other people's lips over mine? was it the perfect kiss i imagined, a dream? is it the experience of the innocent kiss in the darkness of a wardrobe?

My first post, which is not first at all, recalls all those first experiences. How do we know we know the things we know? Do we have a past memory? an instinct? how do we know what to do? what to say? when to say it?

my grandma used to say 'No one is born knowing' meaning that we dont have an instructions book given to us when we are born, we just learn, and thats what First Experiences are for... Although, because US as matter already existed, is there such thing as a first experience?

'both under influence, we had divine sense, to know what to say, mind is a razorblade...'
The Knife

aZile