Spring

It's some days into April. Full spring. My life feels like its blooming as well. My soul feels so strong and fragile at the same time. I'm talking about my soul, let's begin there. Spirituality has had different faces during my life, many different stages, everyone has their own path, I guess. When I was 17, I went to a spiritual trip to the jungle for a few days. I didn't understand what it was about, my feelings understood, my intellect was as lost as ever. One thing I did feel/understand, I felt like I was absolute love, absolute healing and one with nature. I felt amazing. Then life moved. My life changed dramatically. I moved to London, a very materialistic place and I got beaten up (metaphorically and literally). For years I hid my love and lived my material life, as I thought I was adapting myself to a new culture, a new culture that seemed more advanced than my abused Latin America. I was so into it, this new life. I forgot about my soul. I was so scared. I tried to find escapes. I went to study philosophy and make art in my own time (I always wanted to know more, I felt there was something more, I always kind of felt like a creator of some sort). I joined the new culture and forgot about the amazing vibrations and security I let my soul be once. I drank, did drugs and went to dangerous places, I talked to dangerous people, I heard stories of soldiers returning home from killing, I danced with the rejects and hugged homeless people. I didn't know why of anything. I was dancing and forgetting. I wanted to feel alive but I didn't know how. My present self can look at those days, those 5 years, looked at as days, like you would look at your past child self. Oh I was so naive when I was eight someone might say, I can fully say I was so clueless and naive about a month ago. I've learnt more than ever, ever. It has taken me 5 years to come back to what I learnt when I was 17, 5 years and a lot of information, a lot of learning and a lot of love. I'm not saying I know it all now, all I'm saying is that I've been found.