Create and Connect

Sometimes, when I become too sociable and go out too much I loose touch with creating. You start talking and mingling and of course, and the best one: sharing with people. But this strange thing happens to me you see, that I start to drift into sharing with people so much that I neglect doing. Is this a general occurrence  That you become a bee that flies from flower to flower, rather than a working bee that collects the honey. This little metaphor tries to say that I have stopped creating... for the days I became sociable. All sorts of strange thoughts then start to creep in when you don't create. The fear of not knowing what to do next. What to follow work with. Why. How. Then you start to compare. Big mistake. The emptiness of the words as you tell people you write poems/songs/paint things when you haven't done any of those things in a while! Breathe. Collect yourself. Remember your mind needs recharging, it needs to take breaks.

Creating is a very similar process to so called mingling. You do it for the people, you share with them, ideally your honest thoughts and feelings. I do both out of love for them, out of curiosity about them, out of a need to learn about them. And thus they are not so dissimilar. But at the same time, time runs like sand, its time to get to work. Some artists become hermits in a way, they isolate from people and dedicate to their work. I work better that way, but people are part of the world, I work for people, can't obviate people, shouldn't avoid them.

Thus the issue becomes a matter of balance again, of course. How to create and connect? How to go out and see the humans in action and also create in the peace of solitude? How to come back to the point of creativity among the seas of activity?
Well I am certainly looking for the answers and will let you know if I have any luck.

Free writing on a train...

Truth is? Well anything I can say about it, I can only say it symbolically. I cannot escape the symbols. Can you?
Like an invisible cage of some flimsy sort, a filtering film that changes all, ever so slightly. But all becomes different nonetheless. I remain on one side of the film, trying to be acquainted with purity, sometimes...
Looking at the people next to me, they look at each other, imitated behaviour. I watch them, they do as their neighbour. I watch them watch me. I smirk. The important remains invisible, symbolically.
Maybe its the strong influence of my right brain. Disorder, Art, Innit.
If I wrote my story word by word it would still be a symbol. If I wrote your story word by word, I still wouldn't know you.
Red blood.
The table across of me was full and now stays empty. The people are gone. I replace them with a water bottle, an orange and a book. The landscape escapes my avid gaze. I try to trap it with my memory but its gone already.
The books. The Art of Loving and the Art of Living. Gender swapping. Psychologically we are everyone else at some point. We try to avoid the thought that we could or can be the worst. Love so hard. Act with more direction. Pay attention.
Plant good seeds.... Metaphorically and physically soon. Well, at least create a new melody! Brighter colours. Vivid colours. Full colours. All before the winter comes.

(somewhere in Scotland, I believe)

Use what you learn.

Hullo world! haven't been posting for a while... I have been doing many non-digital activities such as playing the guitar. Very fun. I recommend.
About the Blog, from now on I decided to update to this blogs, the articles I write for a Newsletter called The Philosophy Takeaway. So here it goes:
Use what you learn

Life is a lesson. We fall and get up, and when we do, get up, we are awarded with a lesson. We learn something new. So this life thing is constant learning process as we expand our circle of experience. Don’t agree? Well, you are entitled to it, but much evidence points to it. Our vocabulary inclines to takes us from one premise to another in a succession that builds up from what was previously said thus our language and its structure are designed for instruction, for teaching and learning, sharing and listening. Our institutions are the same, we begin at school and parents want their children ‘to learn’. We then go to college and etc. And there are learning courses everywhere. In my opinion this idea is somehow flawed. We assume that we learn in the first part of our life and in the second part we use that knowledge. I believe both processes are constantly going on whether we want it or not, simultaneously; but we don’t have such a big element of control. Control is gained with awareness. Planet Earth seems like a big training ground sometimes, of our chosen subjects and of life of course. Surviving is thus a learning activity.

                                         The extent of our rational analysis still doesn’t change certain laws of nature, such as cause and effect. We are responsible of the consequences that stem from our actions and thus we are rational and can become more conscientious of what we do. This is why I propose that people should use all these lessons gathered in life, practically. We think we do, but do we really? We are so keen to learn from other people experiences, for example when we hear someone has done something terrible we say ‘Oh but I would never do that!’. We say. Unfortunately, all our education and gathering of experiences still has not sank in deep enough; we don’t usually act on what we know.

                                         My proposal is quite simple. Regardless of the economic system, the government and the weather, we could have a much better life if we lived it with awareness. If we took what we constantly learn and used it, instead of turning a blind eye on it or become lazy with our ideals we would save ourselves and world much loss and suffering. For example: if you think it’s unethical that when tuna are fished some dolphins get trapped in the nets, well then buy line fished tuna instead. In this world, unfortunately our money has a voice and a vote, so that is a place to apply our principles. This is a small example, but it can be applied to any aspect of life. If we do a little self evaluation, we will find that we do things that we know we know better than doing them. We can change this, by using what we have learnt and keep learning, expanding our world. Saying this, using what we have learnt does not mean charity, I believe that one person living an aware life, acting upon what they have learnt, will have a lifestyle that prevents poverty in the first place. Thus a person living a life well lived is worth more than ten who live a completely upside down life, perpetuator of chaos, and then give money to charity.

                                         Constantly adults tell children to apply the lesson they have taught them into their life. We say ‘didn’t you learn that at school’ we say ‘haven’t I taught you that before’ we say ‘you should know better’. But when was the last time we looked at ourselves and said the same things and actually lived by them. We constantly learn new skills; we learn how to use a new phone or how to take a bus to a new place, but our life lessons... do we apply them? Why being aware of what we do? Why are we rational? Because only awareness can reconcile chaos. Thus I say: Use what you learn. 

The person you need in your life...

Most of us seat and daydream, daydream so hard and so long about the X person we need in our life, so we can have a better life, so we can be finally happy. A partner usually, a boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover and external being to complete our seemingly meaningless life. Sometimes we think we need a different mother, a teacher, a better boss in order to achieve.
What I have learnt in my twists and turns in planet Earth is that if you 'need a person in your life' the best for you is TO BE that needed person. Sounds weird, yet its simple. If you want a better partner, be a better partner, to yourself. Be that mother, be that teacher, be kind, actually, be nice sometimes, stop looking outside. To expect that complement to come from outside is to stay on the level of wishful thinking, you will for ever think life is unfair because it doesn't send you a pre-packed human being. Be it. You want someone irresistible and caring and that listens and encourages and supports you? Be irresistible. Be caring. Listen. Encourage yourself and others. Support yourself and others again. Play the part in the world, transform it with your music.
Be the person you need in your life. And no, I'm not talking about eternal loneliness with you as your own best friend (although that wouldn't be too bad) I'm saying that when you become the person you need... other people will be attracted to you and your encouraging, loving, supportive, funny, irresistible personality and ways. Because you are worth it for yourself. When you practice tolerance and love to yourself, loving others, just as they are, becomes easy, becomes fun, becomes free. And so, you can choose the people that make you happy and don't try to change the ones that don't, let them go. Next person you love, doesn't have to be 'what you need', but whatever they are will be perfect, because you will then really get to discover, each other.

Self-motivational words for you and me...

Personal growth does not happen in a straight line that goes up, like an arrow, as it's been by so many people portrayed. Growth goes in waves, up and down, wavy, in circles, non-static, growth is anything but single lined, single-minded. Personal growth and creation is the best we can do out of our brief life, or brief existence humans, here. I can't begin to stress how important growth is, to consciously better yourself, or anything. Yet, nowadays, growth is seen as a means to an end, usually money. 

Humans show you both anatomically and mentally that we are meant for growth or development. Like when you work a muscle and it gets stronger or you can train your lungs or flexibility, your body is there basically to be molded by you, to be your instrument, it only has a basic shape but it is entirely up to you on how you use this organism. Yet we insist on feeling trapped in it and feed it crap and try to cover it up with all sorts of potions that do nothing but poison our skin. Oh dear oh dear... Why drink water from the gutter when you can go to a spring? Why sit on a sofa watching other people's fake life when you can dance and sing?

Escapism.

To seek constancy is to seek to be static, to be unchanging is to not grow. Being fixed is not an achievement, because there is no 'top'. If you stop developing or stop learning, there is only one simple name for it, its giving up. Imagine if a doctor got his medicine degree and went on to practice and was a doctor for lets say 5 years, the medicine he would be practicing would be so outdated that it might be dangerous for him to treat people, he wouldn't know what medicines are around, what technology is around, nothing of the advances of medicine, which is actually pretty fast. In the same way, if a doctor can't stop learning, what makes people think they can? Why do we do it to ourselves? Why do we live this ridiculous comfortable existences that give us sporadic glimpses of happiness and a lot of fear and appearances and nothing else? Why? 

I sat around with my friends doing nothing. Literally nothing, we were kind of looking at each other's faces. I could sense the expectations in their eyes. They await to be entertained. They await for happiness, fun, even meaning to come from outside. They sit like public and let life go past. 

That's what annoyed me so much of that evening of doing nothing, how everyone felt and acted like an spectator, not an actor, of life. Laziness becomes the state of being, the disguise with which we cover our fear, our presumed lack of power, when we actually have all the power. We grow used to things to quickly, even bad things. Some say adaptation is a virtue, I say change the world and adapt it to you.

I've always felt this depth, not heaviness, but I feel deep inside me a sort of sadness, a caring of things, like things were really ancient, and important and sacred and valuable and alive and every word said was heard, like a spell. A feeling. A force. To use that force? To strive for something? To get some skills to make my days worth living. To make your days worth living. To unlock, to open up, to exist, to show, to create, to be, to move, to fall, to break, to breathe, to improve, to erase, to do... self-motivational words for you and me, that will hopefully stir at least the leafs. 

azile

The Last Days- 25, 26, 27, 28, 29 and 30. The End

The end of the challenge. Unfortunately, I am not consistent enough to have written up every day everything I learnt. Essentially, this challenge time was a time to teach myself things and be more aware of my learning and surroundings. Two years ago I taught myself how to paint, I'm getting better all the time. This time I taught myself how to play guitar. I'm just starting. And all the time we are learning how to live. And why is this important or even worth mentioning you may ask? Well, its because in this day and age of uncertainty, when the world looks so mad (and it really is) the only thing you can 'have' are your skills. Teaching yourself or learning skills is incredibly important, for self-development, for creativity, to simply make something out of your brief visit to planet Earth; and when you try, something, it can be a wonderful place.
That is what I have learnt during this past 30 days. To enter information into my life, to learn more and try to know more and help more. People are really scared, we only have to look around, so if you can shake that fear of, because we are better than that and do something amazing, or anything at all, if we complain when something is unfair and do something creative, then we make this thing worth living. You may say that in destiny, everything is meant to be, you can say, but it rather is meant to be made, by you. I learnt to do something, be more honest, take more action and not live in regret. Everyday I learn to trust yet to be careful. To learn something important about our world, such as how the Federal Reserve works and also to get lost in a novel, some music or doing a painting. What can I say? Make. Your. Days. Count.

THE END.

Days 21, 22, 23 and 24- Accelerated Learning

Again, I haven't been able to keep up with this blog daily. I guess that is why I couldn't keep a 9 to 5 job. Inconsistency. I work in spurts of energy. That's how I function. Still, the learning has actually been consistent, great and I would even say, accelerated. Maybe the numerology equivalent of the dates will help me explain: 18+19+20+21=78=7+8=17 1+7=8
Is a number that resolves dualities, its a number of expansion. Lately I have felt that my life is doing nothing but expanding. To see things more clearly. To breathe freedom. Knowledge is definitely freedom and power, specially over yourself. 8 connects spirit and matter. What can I say? I live for my spirit, how else is one to live, but we have to maintain this body. Happiness. Is it to know or to create? Creativity is the hue that paints my world with meaning. 8 also means developing confidence to follow a vision and breaks down barriers of transformation, reality, courage. Today I felt that the Universe likes me, thanks.
There was an eclipse last night. I spent it in a special place of this park, with a very good person. What happened? Grounded-ness, a bit of peace for my heart in this corner of the world, in the middle of such a hectic city as London.
If that peace could have been expanded and made to cover Earth like a blanket... if only.
So, in this life I learn to live... between stars, grass, arguments, love, music, jealousy, indecision, memories, milk, bread, chess, beds, embraces, knowledge, woods and disguised pixies. Clearing the path, a voice in the back of my head says. The path. For you, my friend.

Out of love I want to tell you that I don't want to rid you of your demons. Deal with them. Purify yourself. Face. The. Music.